Shelby Stanger: The presenting sponsor this season is Subaru. Now it’s time to talk about the 2020 Subaru Crosstrek. This is the car that’s built for the last minute, why not? Let’s do this thing explorers. A car built for any adventure. With standard symmetrical all-wheel drive and increase in available horsepower, you’ll be able to drive across dusty backroads and snowpack trails to reach that hard-to-reach location. Plus, you can embark on that adventure with confidence and safety technology that comes standard in every Subaru Crosstrek to help with awareness and peace of mind.
Shelby Stanger:
No matter what wild idea you’re chasing, the Subaru Crosstrek is a good choice to get you there. Love is out there. Find it in a Subaru Crosstrek. You can learn more about the new, more powerful Crosstrek at subaru.com. Before we dive into this week’s show, I wanted to let you know, this episode addresses some political issues. As a reminder, REI maintains a strongly nonpartisan stance and does not endorse candidates or political parties. At the same time, REI does support an active electorate.
Ally Coucke: We find ourselves being extra kind to someone who is dying because we want their last memories on this Earth to be happy, to be good. He won’t tell me how many more days we get together, it’s a secret he knows I wouldn’t handle well. Lately when it’s really difficult for me, he gives me this look and I swear he’s saying, “Not yet, not even close, mom.” As I’m writing this, I’m watching him walk around a secluded bay, the water is splashing up onto the slick rock he’s taking himself for a morning walk.
Ally Coucke: The steps are soft, he takes his time and every so often he looks back at me and sends a small tail wag. It’s where every day he becomes more sweet, more tolerant, more loving, more angelic. He’s so calm, he’s quiet and restful, but he’s still playful and full of energy. He’s become sort of an anomaly. So when I get that sting behind my eyes and my chest feels flooded, I try to find comfort in knowing it’ll make his next transition seamless. He’s an angel in preparation. He’s making his way back to me now so I have to go.
Ally Coucke: I know today probably isn’t his last day and it’s probably not mine. But just in case, I’m going to love him a little harder, I’m going to make sure he knows. That while I’m out here trying to make his life good, make it count doing everything I can. He does it infinite times better than me by just sitting next to me and wagging his tail once. It took my dying dog to show me that I have to stop believing like this is some sort of a race. Because that’s actually not a finish line I want to cross. Bailey is showing me how little I need, how smaller changes I could make to feel so much more. He’s showing me that it doesn’t take much to make it a good last day.
Shelby Stanger: This is Ally Coucke. Ally’s a writer, adventurer and Instagram influencer based in Denver, Colorado. Ally and her partner are parents to two beautiful dogs named Bailey and Loki, who also happen to be famous on Instagram. Millions of followers tune in for photos of Ally and her pack romping around on picturesque beaches, mountains, and other outdoor adventures.
Shelby Stanger: Ally loves her dogs more than anything but her white German Shepherd Bailey is dying. I know this has been a devastating year for so many people and for Ally, the deepest grief of her life so far is approaching. But the horizon also holds shimmers of hope. I’m Shelby Stanger and this is Wild Ideas Worth Living.
Shelby Stanger: Ally became Bailey’s dog mama 12 years ago when she was just 20-years-old. In the last couple of years, Bailey has been battling cancer, and in January, Ally was told he didn’t have much time left. Today we’re talking about the path they’ve taken together from beginning to end, but let’s start with the basics.
Shelby Stanger: So, Bailey’s going through cancer right now.
Ally Coucke: For the second time. Yeah. Yeah.
Shelby Stanger: How did you end up with Bailey? What’s his story?
Ally Coucke: So I was living in Michigan and I was just finishing school and I knew I wanted to move to Colorado. I just didn’t want to be alone. And I was a runner. I ran in college, cross country and indoor and outdoor track. And I wanted a dog that would run with me. So I can’t lie to you and say I did a bunch of research. I didn’t. I thought German Shepherds were beautiful dogs. I knew he’d be big and be protective. I was like, “Good enough for me.” Like so flippant and I went and I picked him out. He was the only male. I knew I wanted a male and it was just like chubby white, fluffy dog running towards me. I remember saying to her, I was like, “That’s not a German Shepherd. They’re black and tan.”
Ally Coucke: Then she showed me his mom and dad and I thought, “I’ll just have to have him.” I was 20, punk, just no direction. I just knew I was moving to Colorado for fun and I got a dog.
Shelby Stanger: So wait, were you in college in Colorado or you had just graduated high school?
Ally Coucke: So I graduated high school when I was 17, so I was pretty young. So I finished school very early. And so I celebrated my 21st birthday in Colorado with Bailey.
Shelby Stanger: Wow. Okay. So you get him really young. What was that like and where did you get him?
Ally Coucke: I got him from this gal in rural Michigan and she would train dogs to be custom dogs for the Michigan and Canadian border. And so I knew the temperament was really good. I didn’t want like a high strung dog. And when I got him, it was the fun stages, right? I was 20. I had a puppy. Everything is sparkly and I really didn’t grasp what I had done, that I had just made this commitment to this other being. Because I didn’t really know how to take care of myself even. So it’s cool to have a dog it’s fun to have a dog. I had no idea the responsibility that I was stepping into and I had no idea that as the years went on, that it would turn into the most profound relationship of my life outside of my family members.
Shelby Stanger: Can you tell me a little bit about your relationship with Bailey? And for those who don’t know, Bailey’s become somewhat of an internet sensation.
Ally Coucke: Yeah. The people love him very deeply. Our relationship, it started that I just had this dog and that was cool. And we’d go for runs together. I feel ashamed saying this, but it was like a prop in my life almost. He wasn’t like the axis on which I spin. And so he was just there and I worked a ton of jobs. I worked two jobs, three jobs at one point and I would come home at 2:00 in the morning and we’d go for a run. We lived in Vail and we’d go for a run and be snowing. And that would be the time that we had together. And then we’d go to sleep in the morning, rinse and repeat.
Shelby Stanger: You’d go running at 2:00 in the morning in Vail?
Ally Coucke: Yeah.
Shelby Stanger: That’s ballsy.
Ally Coucke: I know, I know. And there would be no one in the streets and everywhere it would be snowing, no leash and we’re just running down the road. It was like everyone was sleeping in a snow globe. It was so peaceful. And as I made a little bit more money and didn’t have to start working so much I started to realize, “I want to use my time with him in a different way.” And so I would make Saturday plans like, “Hey, let’s go climb 14” or everyone would bail because it’s 4:00 AM leave time. And I say, “Fine, it’s just B and I then.” It will just be him and I. And that really was the jump off point of I have somebody, I have this being with me that’s down to do everything I want to do, is happy to do it, listens and is content just being with me.
Ally Coucke: And from that point on, I stopped making decisions of what I thought I was supposed to do. It was literally this shift in me. I didn’t need to be working in that corporate job that looked good on paper. I wanted a life that allowed me to feel good consistently. And that always linked up with taking Bailey for a hike or leaving to go to Utah for two days. I hadn’t experienced that before because that sense of independence of maybe I don’t have a partner at the time or maybe my friends don’t want to commit to leaving. I had this best friend that was always ready to go. And then since that point, it’s so much more intense in the best way. He’s a part of me and he has changed my entire life.
Shelby Stanger: And so how did he become an internet sensation?
Ally Coucke: So I have another dog, Loki. He’s the famous one. He’s got two million followers on Instagram and yeah, insane. You can’t walk anywhere without somebody recognizing him. And when I came into his life, it then became Bailey and Loki. And people really bought into Loki was this really cool, beautiful, unique dog and-
Shelby Stanger: A wolf dog, right?
Ally Coucke: Yeah. A wolf dog. And then all of a sudden he’s got this best friend who kind of, sort of looks like him, but a completely different breed. And it became the two of them. And Loki really came alive once Bailey was in his life. And same with Bailey. Bailey was eight when he met Loki. And it was like a rebirth to a point in a really beautiful way where I truly feel that Bailey needs Loki more than he needs me.
Shelby Stanger: The deep bond between Bailey and Loki reminds me that all beings need companionship and love. According to Ally, when Bailey is gone for a few days for surgery, Loki doesn’t eat or sleep. And it’s not just dogs that need each other Ally’s gotten a lot of support online from her communities on Instagram.
Shelby Stanger: So your life is somewhat public because of Bailey and he is going through cancer and what’s that like just the whole internet thing?
Ally Coucke: It’s hard to navigate. I think that when rubber meets the road, I know who I am. You get a couple of million people weighing in on your decisions and your words.
Shelby Stanger: Who don’t know you.
Ally Coucke: Who don’t know you. Who don’t know you. There’s a lot of projection I’ve learned. There’s a lot of judgment. And the thing that makes it all okay is that it is out done tenfold by love and support. So there is negativity, but it cannot hold a flame to the love.
Shelby Stanger: Hmm. So the opportunity is like there has been so many other people touched by your story and Bailey’s story.
Ally Coucke: Yeah. I can’t even process it most days, Shelby, because it’s so much love. And it’s so overwhelming in the best way that I don’t understand how people can be so kind and so, so giving. People have donated money. We raised money for a child who was terminally ill. And it has reminded me that there’s more good than bad.
Shelby Stanger: So when I called you just to make sure you got my email and stuff, you were making Bailey filet mignon. And I also checked your Instagram and people were like trying to buy Bailey steaks.
Ally Coucke: They won’t stop Venmoing me.
Shelby Stanger: That’s amazing.
Ally Coucke: One person said it and then I woke up in the morning and there was hundreds of dollars and I tried to send it back and then they sent it again. And I said, “I’m not going to play this tagging with you guys. I’ll accept it. I’m uncomfortable doing it.” But it is things like that or four weeks ago he had a really major surgery and he goes to a place called CSU Cancer Center. And you can’t go inside because of COVID.
Ally Coucke: So I sit in the parking lot for all of his appointments from three to 12 hours and just wait. And financial services called me and they said, “Somebody is trying to call and pay for Bailey’s surgery.”
Shelby Stanger: Aww.
Ally Coucke: Yeah. And I had my best friend with me and she started crying. I was like, “Lock it up.”
Shelby Stanger: I’m going to cry. That’s crazy.
Ally Coucke: And I said, “No, I won’t accept it. No.” And so we went back two weeks for his checkup and another scan and they tried again and financial services did not call me and they just process the payment.
Shelby Stanger: Wow. I mean this connection with you and Bailey is, I mean, I can feel it and I’ve barely even seen your Instagram. I was just listening to you. He seems amazing. What has owning Bailey taught you about? I mean, it sounds like so much. Maybe you can tell me some of the things Bailey has taught you about yourself and your relationship with the outdoors. Because it sounds like you were always an outdoorsy person, but you’ve done some things that you normally wouldn’t have done.
Ally Coucke: Yeah. And I’ve been thinking about this towards the end of his life. I’ve been really trying to process. He’s given me so much it’s almost hard to really like if I made a list, it would be never-ending. But I think that when you love someone the way that I love him and you see this physical manifestation of their emotions. So he’s a dog, he can’t talk to me, but I can see when he’s happy. And we’re driving in Oregon and we get closer to the ocean and he can smell it in the air. And I put the windows down, it’s happiness.
Ally Coucke: And when we pull up to the ocean and out of the truck, I’ve not seen happiness like that. He knows when we’re going somewhere. He knows as we leave the city of Denver and the trees start to be there instead of telephone poles. And he sits up, “Oh, she’s taking me somewhere.” And then all of a sudden he feels the bumpiness in the truck, we’re on a dirt road. He’s stoked. Head out the window, all four paws on the backseat just ready, looking at Loki. “When is she going to stop?” Out of the truck, paws in the dirt.
Ally Coucke: When you can see the something that you love that happy, you want to do it all the time. So I am constantly being pulled to, we need to go to the ocean. We need to go to the woods. We need to go to the mountains. He’s not meant to sit in four walls. I don’t think I’m meant to sit in four walls. And the second that we get to where we’re going, just seeing him happy like that I don’t even think about it anymore. I’m not like, “Oh, I’m an outdoorsy person because I need to get this shot for Instagram. And I need people to see that I look dope in my clothes.”
Ally Coucke: It’s more when I watch him run away from me and his tail is wagging so hard and we are so blessed that it has been in the desert, in the mountains, in Alaska, in Mexico, in the ocean. That dog has been more places than a lot of people have. I will forever be pulled to do that.
Shelby Stanger: When you describe Bailey and in the car ride, I shouldn’t compare Johnny to Bailey, but my husband, he instantly starts frowning the closer we get to LA [crosstalk 00:13:57] and when we’re leaving LA and we get towards the ocean again, his smile gets bigger and he starts talking more. It just made me laugh. I think we’re all like that.
Ally Coucke: If you enjoy nature, you can’t stop it. And I have this superpower. My dog thinks I’m a superhero because I can just give it to him.
Shelby Stanger: 20 to like I’m guessing you’re 32, 12 years.
Ally Coucke: Mm-hmm (affirmative).
Shelby Stanger: So that’s a big gap. I just know as a young woman growing up 20 to 32, I changed a lot. But having a dog has really changed you as well. As a person, how do you think Bailey has most changed you today?
Ally Coucke: It changes. As we’ve both gotten older at first, he taught me responsibility. “You’re a kid, you got to take care of me. I need food, water, and shelter.” And now in this season of his life, he has taught me strength because this is all really hard. All of it. Everything in the world is difficult right now. Him being sick is difficult right now. It’s so hard. He’s taught me how to be present right now and that I am strong, way stronger than I thought. Because he is a stronger.
Ally Coucke: I’ve never seen a more undeserving soul go through more pain and more anguish than that dog has. And every morning I wake up Shelby and he’s wagging his tail and he’s happy and he’s stoked, and dogs don’t feel sorry for themselves. And I have to get up because of him. Even on the days when I don’t want to, when it’s so difficult and I just want to lay in bed. I think I get X amount of days with him and you’re not going to lay in bed not today.
Ally Coucke: And you can cry. You can cry on a walk. You can be angry on a walk. You can be going through so many different emotions, but you’re going to take him for a walk at minimum or go lay in bed with him or make his food. Those are labors of love where we are right now. He just teaches me every day that we can do really, really hard things and that we’re both really strong.
Shelby Stanger: I’m so impressed by everything that Bailey has taught Ally about herself and other people and the value of the outdoors. When we return, you’ll hear about how Ally took these lessons to heart. When she spontaneously took on the outdoor adventure of a lifetime.
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Shelby Stanger: Bailey’s been Ally’s companion on a ton of outdoor adventures. And he’s taught Ally how strong she truly is. So this year somewhat spontaneously, Ally decided to join a friend to climb Mount Kilimanjaro. This time though, she wasn’t able to take Bailey with her. Planning for this kind of adventure is a lot of work and it ended up being pretty harrowing. Even though Bailey wasn’t with her on the climb, he never left. Ally’s mind. Just two days after reaching the summit, Ally wrote this piece from her hotel room.
Ally Coucke: You know those boomerangs I take of Bailey where he’s really still looking at me and just his tail wags? A few months ago, I didn’t know I wanted to be here. And the days leading up to the summit, I learned how my friends next to me had dreamt of this their entire lives. And here I was months prior just deciding impulsively what a phony, what a thrill chaser. Every day we ended up in the front talking to the lead guide of that day. I asked Shafi about his wife and his kids, what poaching looks like in Tanzania and why the new Lion King isn’t very supportive of East Africa where it’s set.
Ally Coucke: He said, “Do you have kids, Ally?” “No, I have dogs. Do you like dogs?” “Yes. I had a dog a long time ago.” Honestly. I asked myself what the hell I was doing and once we were on the steep uphill in the dark, I thought, “Look what you’ve got yourself into now.” It was all rainforest miles and jokes and the Lion King until then. I felt outside of my body, how it was still moving I don’t know. I felt scared of how sick I was feeling. I felt scared of how hard it was and I wrapped it all up in a pretty bow of you better not fail at this fear.
Ally Coucke: To cope, I would allow myself to close my eyes for one second and think of Bailey. Any longer and I would start to cry so hard that I couldn’t breathe and I needed all the air I could get. In one second I’d see his hind leg step up a rock in front of me, and then I’d open my eyes. I saw his face peek around a boulder up what the next switchback waiting for me. I opened my eyes. I looked down at my hand running across his back as he passed me and I screamed in my head, “Ally opened your eyes.”
Ally Coucke: At the summit, it’s snow white just like my boy. And only when I saw the congratulations, you hear a peek sign in the distance that allow him to be seen fully. I kept my pace pulley pulley. Eyes wide open and tears streaming. I don’t know why I climbed Kilimanjaro, but I know it is rooted in my Bailey. And even though I couldn’t bring him with me, there, he was doing that boomerang thing where he’s really still looking at me, just his tail wagging.
Shelby Stanger: You did great. That was beautiful.
Ally Coucke: Thank you.
Shelby Stanger: I can’t believe you climbed Kilimanjaro with three months notice.
Ally Coucke: Yeah, it was so hard. The part where I’m like I let myself close my eyes it’s because you’re so nauseous. The altitude sickness is no joke. It doesn’t care who you are. It doesn’t care if you’re an Olympian and a triathlete, or if you’ve been training for a month, you can’t fight altitude sickness like that. And once I got above 17,000 feet because Colorado, I mean climbing 14ers like I don’t feel sick. 17,000 and above was it felt like hell.
Shelby Stanger: So how did you get to the top? I mean, you had a guide with you, but you had a friend.
Ally Coucke: I took my best friend with me [inaudible 00:20:52] and then we bonded really closely with these two other women. And then the guides, I mean, they’re incredible. They do everything they can to get you to the top. And I was on my hands and knees dry heaving, throwing up. It’s gnarly and you feel like you take 10 steps and then you have to stop. And then you take 10 steps more and everyone was affected differently. And my best friend had the migraines. She said she felt like the front of her head was going to crack open. And I didn’t have that. I just had this debilitating nausea and it felt good to close your eyes, but also felt like you weren’t going to open them back up.
Ally Coucke: So when I allowed myself to close for just a second and think about Bailey and then just keep moving. But it truly felt like the whole mountain was spinning. I’ve never felt like that in my entire life.
Shelby Stanger: Wow. And when you got to the top, I mean, what did that feel like or was it anti-climactic?
Ally Coucke: It was strange. I thought that it was going to feel like I was crossing the finish line. And when I got there, it was so cold, it was bright blue skies, it was so cold. The wind was, it was insane and you’re not allowed to stay up there very long because it’s not safe for you. You need oxygen. You need to get back down. And so maybe we were up there five to seven minutes. And I remember just looking around and thinking, “I have to take a photo. I need to take a photo.” I promised people that I would send a photo and I had Bailey’s dog tags. I remember I held them out and my whole body was shaking.
Ally Coucke: And you can see in the picture I put it’s blurry because I was just shaking and I couldn’t feel anything, but just gratitude, gratitude that I was standing there with these people that truly felt like I’d been with them for four days. And it felt like they were part of my life forever now. And it was cool to be at the top, but it was more special to look around at the people that I was with and to be holding Bailey’s dog tags. I’m not going to lie and play it cool, but like a little bit of panic came into my chest. I’m like, “Oh, we got to walk back down now.”
Shelby Stanger: Even in Bailey’s absence, summiting Kilimanjaro was an important part of Ally and Bailey’s story. When Bailey passes, Ally will close her eyes and envision him alongside just like she did on Mount Kilimanjaro. But for now, Ally’s journey with grief and Bailey’s battle with cancer it isn’t over.
Shelby Stanger: 2020 has been a really rough year for a lot of people. So talk to me about that and any advice on grief and loss because that’s something everybody’s experienced, some sort of loss this year. And grief’s a tricky one.
Ally Coucke: Grief is hard. I read this thing. I’ve been reading a lot about grief lately, because I feel as though I’m about to step into a place where people have kind of joked about it. They’re like “When that day comes, Ally is going to disappear.” And I don’t know if they mean physically or emotionally or what, but it is a very common thing that I’m hearing. So I’m trying to read a lot about grief and heartbreak and trauma as if it’s going to prepare me because it’s not going to. And that’s the thing about grief. I read this thing the other day that said grief is just love that has nowhere to go.
Ally Coucke: So you’re pushing this love. So anyone who has lost a job or lost a loved one or lost anything in their life, you’re pushing out love and it’s not going anywhere because that thing is no longer there. And of all the things that I’ve read that has stayed with me the most, because that’s truly what it feels like. I feel like I cannot love enough to save his life. I cannot love enough to heal the trauma in my life. I can’t. It’s there. I feel it, but it’s not bouncing back to me. And when Bailey’s not here, it’s not going to bounce back to me. And everybody can say all these beautiful things to me. “He’ll always be with you. You’ll always have the memories of the four of you together or whatever.”
Ally Coucke: It’s a nice thought, but when you’re alone in your bed and you make up in the morning and your chest feels flooded, that’s just words because what you’re feeling is love and it’s not coming back to you. And that is maybe one of the most terrible feelings in the world. And I’m learning how to process that. I wish that I had advice because I don’t know. And once I lived through it, maybe I’ll know. Right now, there are days that it does feel hopeless, but coming back to that strength, coming back to the things that I know are true that I have a family that loves me, that I have friends that love me.
Ally Coucke: I have had the love of Bailey for 12 years and it is enough to last for the rest of my life. I already know that. So I try to remember that I’ve already been gifted so much in 32 years, that it would be selfish to ask for more. Even though I know I’m going to get more. I know that there’s going to be good things coming down the road. I know that. But maybe one day I’ll have another dog and I love that dog and that dog will love me. It’ll never be what it is right now. My life will never be what it is right now. And that’s okay because I’m so grateful that it’s even been what it’s been. Because it’s amazing. It’s truly beautiful. I’m so lucky. And I’m so blessed.
Shelby Stanger: Well, thank you for sharing all this Ally and you’ve been vulnerable and raw. We just met and I really appreciate it.
Ally Coucke: Yeah.
Shelby Stanger: Do Bailey and Loki still hang out as much as possible?
Ally Coucke: Yeah. Right now they’re actually together. That’s the decision that was made after Bailey’s surgery. Because we were kind of bopping around and I wanted them to be together so. And it’s interesting. You want to talk about strength. I almost don’t even, I can’t feel anything else right now because I’m so just focused on him and what is best for him. And I think like I’m not a mom mom, but I’m Bailey’s mom. I’ll do anything for him and I feel like I can do anything for him.
Shelby Stanger: I mean, you are a mom. That’s exactly what a mom does. You’re a total mama bear and I think it’s beautiful. Any advice to people who want a dog, own a dog, want a better relationship with a dog?
Ally Coucke: This is where I become a little bit of a jerk because I’m like, “Well, if you want a dog, you better be ready.” You better be ready to be good and not just buy them a cute leash and walk them around the city park. Your life is going to change because nothing has upset me more than people selfishly owning dogs. And I sometimes fear people see my relationship with Loki and Bailey and they romanticize it a little bit. It looks really good in photos. It’s a ton of work. It is exercising. Loki is a very specific dog. He’s not good if he doesn’t get exercise. A wolf dog is not meant to live in Denver.
Ally Coucke: It’s a choice that you have to make if you have the life that is set up to bring a dog into that, do it. Get four dogs. It’s the greatest thing if you can provide a good life for them. I really don’t see it any different as having a child. There were times when I did things that were not in Bailey’s best interests. I deeply regret those things. And I’ve written about this on Instagram that the first couple of years of Bailey’s life, I’m not proud of the life that he had.
Shelby Stanger: But you’re proud of the life he has now.
Ally Coucke: Yeah.
Shelby Stanger: Yeah. I mean, Bailey seems like he wakes up and eats filet mignon.
Ally Coucke: Yeah.
Shelby Stanger: And cuddles with you and plays outside and-
Ally Coucke: He’s going to get to go be at the ocean for a couple of weeks and go to the Redwood Forest, which he loves. And now I’m proud of it. It was trial and error and I learned this is how I live my life. I learned the hard way. So if I can give advice to people to just out the gate, do the best that you can. And we know, we know if we’re doing the best that we can. That’s my advice.
Shelby Stanger: So you’re going to go to the Redwoods. It’s August right now. This might not come out until winter. What are you hoping to do with Bailey and what are your plans for this fall and end of summer?
Ally Coucke: Yeah. Work-wise, I’ve kind of like pushed everything out to 2021, which is great that I can do that. So we’re leaving for the Oregon Coast and we’ll be there for an indefinite amount of time. The house is right next to an entrance into Redwood National Forest. And then it’s six minutes from the ocean so.
Shelby Stanger: Amazing.
Ally Coucke: Yeah. I mean, it’s heaven. There’s no plan there just to see how long it is. Bailey does have to come back for an IV chemotherapy session. So we’ll see how that plays out. And then moving into the fall, I would like to stay on the road. All of this is contingent on how he’s feeling, but I would like to keep showing him things. So that’s the plan for right now. Winter, that dog loves the snow and he likes to go backcountry snowboarding. And I mean, I just hope we make it that far at this point.
Ally Coucke: So that’s the tricky part about thinking about future plans is that I just don’t know. I don’t know what’s going to happen. So I’m kind of living in a three-week window. In the next few weeks, we’re going to Oregon. And then once I get to Oregon, I’ll kind of play with the next three-week window. It’s this interesting management of pain and trauma that I feel safe in that three weeks down. Anything outside of that, it feels a little too scary to think about.
Shelby Stanger: Well, I think that’s a lot of people who aren’t even going through what you’re going through right now have to live through a three-week window.
Ally Coucke: Yeah.
Shelby Stanger: Because of COVID and schools and shutdowns.
Ally Coucke: It’s an interesting time for everybody. And I think that I am not unique that I am going through something hard. There’s so many people going through hard things. I’m also not a believer in measurement of pain. Because your pain is the same as my pain. And just because it looks a lot worse or it feels a lot worse for one party or the other, I don’t believe in measurement of pain. I hate when someone’s trying to share something with me and they’re like, “Oh, it’s nothing compared to what you’re going through.” Says who?
Shelby Stanger: Whether you’ve lost a loved one or a job or you’re missing hugs from friends and family, you’re not alone. Since we recorded this interview in August, there have been countless losses and wildfires have ravaged much of the West Coast. The silver lining is that this year we’ve seen so many people open their homes and their hearts to support their own communities, their neighbors, and even random people they’ve never met before. Whether it was strangers trying to pay for Bailey’s surgeries or a guide helping her to take her to the top of a mountain, Ally has found so much kindness in the darkest most difficult times.
Shelby Stanger: I want to sincerely thank Ally Coucke for being so open with me during our conversation. You can follow her on Instagram @A-C-O-U-C-K-E. Also follow Loki and Bailey @L-O-K-I and check out the book Wild Together, which was written by Ally’s partner, Kelly Lund with contributions from Ally. We’ll link to it in the show notes.
Shelby Stanger: Wild Ideas Worth Living is part of the REI Podcast Network. It’s hosted by me, Shelby Stanger written and edited by Sam and produced by Chelsea Davis. Our executive producers are Palo Mottola and Joe Crosby and our presenting sponsor is Subaru. As always, we appreciate when you subscribe, rate and review the show wherever you listen. And remember, some of the best adventures happen when you follow your wildest ideas.